This thing from Star Wars reminds me of the man in the cat costume. While I was at Elavon I felt bouts of extreme pain in my leg and I had a persistent sensation of discomfort in my eye. While at Elavon I saw online a picture of a man in a costume like the picture above. It was a fluffy white cat costume with a grotesque facial expression. It looked like the man's fingers had been cut off and replaced with gray putty. He was sitting on a box in front of a canvas not unlike a little Lego vehicle rolling across the screen in what is called, apparently, The Japanese Gameshow. That vehicle is made out of some of my old Legos. In the cat picture, I thought I recognized the man's hand.

I think the deep state hates me so much because they did that to my friend on account of their own evil. If they had a problem with me, then they should have died, not him. I will repay. It was suggested to me that this person was in the back of one of Steve and Joey's produce truck when I seredipitously pulled up behind it on the highway early one morning. I regnozied the number 191 as the truck's fleet number because Joey had told me about some club rich people in the 191 Peachtree building called the 191 club. THat building is right across the the street from the library. At LexisNexis that day my coworker sent a weird email about how some forgot it was their day to watch the ice cream truck. My manager George said, "Maybe this whole thing is bigger than we thought." I still haven't had anyone tell me what the thing is but I have my suspicions. I have since come to believe that I was able to free this person, or a person in a similar situation, after bringing my own surveillance team to the location truck while it was in transit of I-75. If this cat thing is their meme they are correct hate me. I am their worst enemy. This mural in the library which is full of people who hate me seems like it is the man in the cat costume much further along in the torture.





Last night the man at the shelter told me that would be my last night there. He said I should go to see Amanda at Gateway today. I went to Gateway today and they would not let me in and the security guy said Amanda wasn't there. Recall that Gateway was where I had the problem with the security guard that I believe precipitated the asassination of ISIS leaders in Nevada with possible civilian casualities. The one that was working there today seems to have learned that I am his enemy but I do not know if he has yet put it together that I am much stronger than him and his strongest people. The security guard at Gateway today reminds me of someone that I promised to kill while I was at the Atlanta Mission. I hope some of his friends and loved ones got smote in Nevada or elsewhere.

I went to the Auburn Avenue research library today. The wi-fi was off. I think the library cult must have unplugged their router. I asked about it at the desk. The guy said something about having to ask Mr. Strok about the router.

Later I asked again and at the mention of Mr. Strok the old lady that reminds me Helene immediately had an figurative orgasm by exclaiming, "She's gone for the day." That's one of those phrases like "it's a prod issue."

I asked, "Are you saying, "Mr. Strzok?'" I do think at least the first man to mention the name today did fully intone Strzok with a Z.

Then they said, "No, Ms. Strong." Pic related, did they steal their pseudonyms from me too? Is Strzok my neighbor Brian Bermude from Rancho Vistoso? Certainly I believe Richard Kuklinski and I are related.





Lately I have been talking about how feebleminded my enemies' "smartest" people are. The point of my present condition of homelessness is in support of a larger protest against labor conditions. My primary complaint is that from my first SQL job at Elavon to my last SQL job at Exide I was unable to escape the workplace company of Helene Gutfreund and Laura Kershaw. My secondary complaint was the affront to my intellectual dignity when, after already proving myself--over and over--to be the greatest physicist in the world, they said I should be a low level computer guy working on some SQL database. I was offered this career after I took a few weeks to memorize or write down everything I needed to know to pass a techincal phone screening for SQL knowledge on a call back from my fake SQL resumé. I was not offered a career in physics after several independently big discoveries. This post is about what it means when I say that the jobs were for stupid people but everyone else who tries to justify the unsatisfactory career direction says that they needed really smart people in there.

The complexity of a SQL database is only linear algebra and the complexity is not related to the number of rows, or the number of reports, or the number of multidimensional datacube warehouse applications. When they say that it is career for bright individuals I will concede that to understand SQL you must be able to understand linear algebra. However I say it was for stupid people becuase the problems never had anything to do with linear algebra. They had to do with people lying to get the non-techincal people to believe that linear algebra doesn't work. When there is a data problem the non-technical people believe that there is some complex technical problem that needs to be dealt with but that is never true because, even in datawarehouse cube structures, the whole thing is just linear algebra. Everything is always immediately exactly solvable but there is always a bubble of lies in the office where everyone pretends that the data doesn't speak for itself and the real problem is that so-and-so keeps sending the wrong specifications and no one ever says anything about the pathological dishonsety.

At Elavon (US Bancorp) it was so obvious that the midnight script from the other bank was always running two minutes late because the file origination parties were running fraud scripts on the real data after the expiry of the time for loading data into the file. Then they would send fraud data to us about 100 seconds late, over and over, all the time, forever. They had the non-techncial people on the projects believing that in 2015 we still didn't have a way to get computers to run a job at the same time every day.

I was on a project email that said the new CTO wanted to achieve a 99.99% job success rate in the data system for the credit card transactions we were processing. That is what Elavon does for US Bank. The other person in the email thread who kept sending the late file said, "We're at 99.9% now so were good."

I responded, "No we're not good you fucking idiot. That's a complete order of magnitude reduction in you sending the file 1 minute late at midnight, and 2 minutes late at 3am. If the CTO wants 99.99% then he should get with fraud prevention team because they defeinitely already have the tools to expediently solve the main problem in the data system."

My manager Robert pulled me aside a few days later and said, "Don't do that they are going to think that's from all of us."

Sometimes systems become hopelessly obfuscated by their administrators who want to ensure their professional futures in the IT department, such as perhaps Rod. What the non-techincal people have to understand is that you can drop all the tables and rebuild everything in the optimized structure with the tools of linear algebra. There is nothing more to it than that and it is an affront to my intellectual dignity that my career is supposed be in an only rudimentary application of the least complex branch of mathematics. That is what it was only supposed to be, but really it was lower than that where I'm supposed to not see through the lies because linear algebra is too complicated for me to comprehend. Non-techicnal people take note: the lie interferes with the business process when I say, "You've got 900 reports and 12 data systems so 900x12=10800 and that will take N-not-large units of time to completely start from scratch and build an optimized system that would not constantly be having problems. Therefore with a small one time investment of just N you can free up N'>>>N later because the bullshit about Sandy's lies messing everything up all the time will stop and maybe the company won't go bankrupt like it it when Rod and Sandy were running its data systems a few years ago."

Then the liar says, "We don't have N units of time to spare 'cuz we gots to keep supprtin' produkshin." And in corporate ettiquette that ends every rational line of reasoning like a kick in the balls. Obviously production would work better if you stopped for a minute to optimize it but the the liar says, "It's better to constantly be having weird glitches in production, month after month and year after year than to take the time it would take to do this optimiwassijigger that he's talkin' 'bout."

Then I would say, "Well Sandy I've already demonstrated that you only have 900 reports and 12 data systems and that as the business intelligence developer I can build from scrath a system that does everything this one does in a short amount of time because it is guaranteed to be no more complex that a elementary problem in linear algebra."

Then Rod would say, "Alright hotshot that's enough outta you. We gotta keep supporting prod and you didn't use a possessive apostrophe when you were emailing me about "Sandys lies" so I don't think you're really in position to be giving us advice."





Emily and I were down by the pool at Viewpoint one day. Some woman came and sat across the pool from us with her legs spread apart so her vagina was facing us. I noticed that the only time women would orient their vaginas in this fashion was when I was down there with someone else. I do like to see the beautiful women but it is irksome that they will never signal their interest unambiguously when I am alone. If I am alone their legs are certainly closed and pointing in the other direction. Later that summer I saw her when I getting out of the elevator.

I can count on my fingers the number of times I was incidentally in the elevator with a very good looking woman during the four years I lived at Viewpoint. Part of that was that I was living in the gay neighborhood because it was close to my job at Georgia Tech but the flux of good looking women in the elevator seemed out of proportion to the general flux of good looking women. The elevator people were probably keeping them away from me on purpose. There was some woman Holly who I think might have had a sister and I could never tell which one was which. She had a peace symbol sticker on her car and a football helmet. She married some guy that seemed like a huge douche bag and I guess he was the one who made her scrape the peace sign off her car because later it was just the football helmet. His beady eyes remind me of Travis Kalanik's beady eyes and I think his name was Travis. One day as I was coming home he and Laura came out of my neighbors' condo (Todd and Laura) and he said,"You didn't tell me you were married!" I hadn't said anything about it either, nor anything at all. I wonder what they were doing in there that day. Todd lived two doors down from me and some person from New York lived between us. On the other side of the hall from them was a married couple and I thought the wife had been jocking me. I tapped on the wall one day to see if they were listening to me in my apartment and a women from the other apartment, the one with the New Yorker, immediately appeared in the hallway and was "on the phone" saying something like, "Do you want me to come over?" It was pretty creepy because that wasn't even the wall I lightly tapped on and they were listening to me.

There was some other blond woman I saw in the elevator a few times. She was very beautiful and very nice but when I spoke to her at the pool she immediately told me about her boyfriend. I had a neighbor Kelly who gave me her phone number but she never answered it when I called. My neighbor Larry's daughter was staying with him for a while. I asked for her number in the hall one day. Later she was waiting for the elevator as I was getting out on my floor. She literally ran away from me to the stairwell at the end of the hall. You can't get back in from there so I guess she took 20 flights of stairs instead of passing me as I walked out of the elevator. Altogether I think it must have been less than 10 times in those four years that I saw a very good looking woman in the elevator. I saw Brooke Baldwin in there a few times. I asked for her number but she didn't give it to me. Notably, Helene, Brooke, and I were all in the elevator together too many times for it to be a coincidence.

Anyhow, I did see the woman from the pool when I was coming out of the elevator one day that summer. This is the one who had spead her legs to sun bathe in front of Emily and I. She said, "Hi," as she walked by and I was taken aback that a good looking woman with whom I was unacquainted spoke directly to me in a conversational manner and of her own volition because that never happens. That hasn't happened ten times in my life. We talked and we were both working on our PhDs at Georgia Tech. I asked for her phone number and I did not take no for an answer. I asked several times for her number or her email or her facebook or anything and she told me no every time. I really made a sincere effort to show a lot more interest that I usually do because she was a good looking academic woman and had unambiguously spoken directly to me. Eventually I did stop asking and she told me she would see me at the pool. I did see her a while later and when I walked by her she said, "I told you I would see you at the pool," and I thought she wanted me to beg for her number again but I didn't want to. I had already asked her about 10 more times than I normally would because she was very good looking and actually spoke to me of her own inclination. However, her real inclintion was denial and I didn't feel like going through that again. I really put myself out there showing extra interest in her and I did not enjoy her spurning at all. It was most unpleasant.

I had met Kimberly at the pool the previous summer or two summers before the summer in which this academic woman would not give me even her email address. Kimberly was a dentist and I think she is in the cult that works at the library. I was asking for help on the library reference computer and the person I think may be Kimberly in disguise was a real bitch about it for no reason. Kimberly was sunbathing with her legs spread and her wet bikini bottom was stuck to the outline of the features of her vagina which seemed very nice and tidy. Also, I saw her in this position while I was alone which was a sociological anomaly. This was very interesting for me so I asked for her number and she gave it to me. She friend zoned me -- or so I thought. If she had friend zoned me she wouldn't have been such a bitch to me at the library... if that was her. Later in the summer in which I saw the academic woman near the elevator Kimberly asked me what happened between the academic woman and I. I asked how she even knew that person or that we had interacted and this is another example of how I can tell the women all talk about me behind my back and then act like they don't know me to my face. They all know how desperate I have been and not one of them ever offered me what they knew I wanted: the ladylike affections of a very good looking woman. They made fun of me instead and sucked my enemies' dicks. I told Kimberly that other woman wouldn't give me her phone number.

I went to Kimberly's dental practice to get my teeth cleaned one time. The helper who cleaned my teeth was one of the best looking women I have seen. I just laid in the chair and got my teeth cleaned. A few days later Kimberly asked me what happened. I asked her what she meant. The helper told her I did something "inappropriate" but that never happened. All I did was lay in the chair and I have no idea what she could have said I did. What happened is probably that Kimberly asked her to evaluate my appropriateness and the helper gave the boss the answer that she thought she was looking for: the one with the greatest feasible amount of drama in it.

The next summer I was in the pool with some guys from jiu jitsu and Kimberly was in the pool too. I was talking about how her helper had gagged me a few times with her dental prod to make blowjob joke and the helper said, "Haha, I hate when that happens." Kimberly got surprised. She said, "Why didn't you tell me that at the time?" I said, "Why would I tell you that?" When I was living on Brookeshire I had gone out with my neighbor Kim one time. Then I saw her naked in my roommate's bedroom. I don't know how it came up but Kim said to me, "You didn't tell him me and you went out?!?!" I hadn't told him that and I thought to myself, "Why would I tell him that?" Why did Kim walk into the house with him but turn around and walk back to her own house when she was walking in there with me?

On the day I told Kimberly that it was actually her dental helper who was a little "inappropriate" when I had been at her dental practice (not that it bothered me, it did not) Alicia was at the pool with her boyfriend Chase who I knew from jiu jitsu. I liked her a lot. She is very pretty and cool and athletic and interesting. I asked Alec to put some sunscreen on my back kind of making a gay joke in front of the 500 gay guys at the pool that day but also I did want someone to put the sunscreen on there. Alicia said, "You're supposed to ask me to do that!" I did not ask her to do it because if she was there with me and then Chase asked her to do it to him I would not have liked that one bit. Later Alicia and Chase broke up and I sent her a message on facebook. She turned me down and sent me a picture of Sera to explain that it would have been weird for her in her group of friends. She was not a bitch about it at all which was unusual because usually women revel in there denials of my advances. She made some post on facebook, "Make a Craig's list ad about me if you like me," and I did but it wasn't enough to overcome whatever negative things Sera was telling her about me. Recall that it was Sera who gave me the first nasty stink eye on the Saturday after the Friday morning on which I followed the 191 truck and then went to the Church of Scientology for some flyers in the afternoon where no one opened the door from me. I think this truck was a mobile torture dungeon like the one in Z nation.

I met a woman Eve around this time. We met through OkStupid. She was pretty cool and I did enjoy her company. She complimented me on being an athletic person (2nd place 2007 and 2009 jiu jitsu world championship, 2009 1st place New York Open) and an intelligent person (Georgia Tech Presidential Fellow in the School of Physics) and I was surprised because despite my expectations that wasn't getting me anywhere on OkStupid.

When I was working at Nexidia there was some woman who reminded me of Alicia. I was talking to her in the copier room and she said, "Oh well, you know. I have to start thinking about my future." I couldn't tell if she meant that she wanted a better man than the guy that was following her around or if she meant that I had to start thinking about my own future by not trying to meet women at work.

Around that time Helene had been lecturing me about staying away from women at work and she kept saying, "Let them think you're gay." Helene really has a gay fetish for me. She wouldn't say, "Don't initiate personal relationships in the professional environment." She said over and over, "Do let them think you're gay." She always took my temperature with an anal thermometer when I was young and did hurt me, barely and only momentarily, by going too deep inside me on more than one occasion. I think the proper technique for the anal thermometer is "just the tip" which she would have known since she is a nurse. She was probably trying to make me gay by rearranging my intestines. It was never sexual though. She would just stick it in there and then say, "Oops, sorry." I think there is a fair chance that Helene is now impersonating a librarian at the Auburn Avenue library and all I have to say to her is this: Exodus 22:18 "Do not allow a sorceress to live." It's in the Torah. She shouldn't have been collaborating with Emily Hancock and she really shouldn't have filed that fraudulent affidavit on me. I don't think I'm going to make an effort to get over that one.





Here I will say a little more about Jennifer and Claire and some other women. With Claire and Jennifer, if I had insisted after they pulled away from me or told me to stop and they offered no further resistance and we had sex and then they went to the police and we told the truth about what happened it would be an open and shut textbook case of rape. Case closed. They would have taken Jesus away from me and the universe would have gotten destroyed. Consider that the main actual violation of the student code at Georgia Tech was that I made them feel unsafe on campus. That was total bullshit so they lied about what really happened because I didn't do anything that would have made a sane woman afraid to be at the same university as me.

Then in court, had I insisted, the lawyer would say, "Did you tell him to stop?"

She would say, "Yes."

The lawyer would say, "Did he stop?"

She would say, "No."

My lawyer would ask me, "Did you rape them?"

I would say, "No, she didn't mean it when she said, 'No.'"

Her lawyer would ask her, "Did you mean it when you said, 'No,' to him?"

She would say, "Yes."

He would say, "Why didn't you keep saying, 'No,' when he didn't stop?"

She would say, "I was too afraid."

According to what the law says, that is as rapey as rape gets without getting some other felonies on there too. Those embellishments they made about being scared for their safety would have been a death sentence for the universe if they could have made them in criminal court.





To everyone who disgusts me and then says the disgust I feel means that they won the football game consider the following. The real score is 0-0 but when I kill you it will be 1-0, me. In tennis they'd call that one love.





Many women will say, "You should have kept going after they told you to stop." They should consider Claire and Jennifer. Claire agreed to come home with me after I took her out to eat. I tried to kiss her and she didn't tell me to stop and I did touch her two more times before we got back to the lab. She never told me to stop. After Jennifer escorted me into her bedroom she did tell me to stop and I did right away. Still my behavior got me expelled from college and I assume my completely appropriate, completely non-rapey behavior is what most women complain about regarding sexual harassment. Certainly it is what Dierdre complained about when I got kicked out of the School of Physics. So what if I have had taken the advice of the women who say I should have kept trying after they said no? In the case of Claire and Jennifer they would have gone to the police instead of the teacher. If we told the truth about what happened in court then it would have been an open and closed textbook case of rape. Case closed. They would have taken Jesus away from me and the universe would have gotten destroyed. However, I didn't do that and now I get to carry Jesus on my back everywhere I go.





If A-list Hollywood celebrities of no less esteem than Jeff Foxworthy and the Chicken Man can be in my presence undisguised then so can the rest of them. If you have the opportunity to come view me like a zoo animal, my advice is to forego it. If you you want to come view me like a zoo animal while you hide your face from them I strongly advise you against such a course of action. It is foolish. It's one kind of dislike when I say I don't like it that come to view me like as one would an animal in the zoo. It's a dislike of a completely different variety if you wear a costume to hide your identity from me like Satan in the Book of Genesis hiding his hands from Isaac.





It's this person on the left that I was saying reminds me enough of some other people I've interacted with lately that he could be them in disguise. It was the person at the library who called security on me for no reason and then lied about what happened to have me banned for a month, and then this person also reminds me of the person who said that I can't have the wi-fi password at my new homeless shelter because it's too expensive. I can't tell if the person on the left and the person on the right are supposed to be the same person or not. I got this image with an image search for "Peter Strzok."










There are some ISIS affiliated Kerethites near my position that should be taken out immediately.
















I will be very angry to learn that the recent uptick in people talking to me about my unvocalized thoughts is due to hundreds or thousands of people having access to a psychotronic scanner implant in my flesh. I would probably kill everyone involved in the program and then destroy their homes with nuclear weapons. I saw this movie Nerve when I was on the plane trying to get to Jerusalem. I didn't like it at all.









Happy birthday Dad.










I had a recollection of a substitute teacher I had in 8th grade at Coronado Middle School. He was very tall, he told us he was 6'8" and that was a big deal for us children. I think his name was Mr. Comey. I later found out that one of Helene's friends works at Coronado now. I think that's Carrie. The tall lithe woman that was Elenor Guthrie's hand maiden in Black Sails reminded me of Carrie.





My calls are still being routed to the same call center. I will kill all of the people who work there unless they have enemies who hate them more than I do. Then I will give them to their enemies. I wonder if Joe's daughter Jenna or his wife Karen is involved with this torment.





Whatever it was that made them not want me as their leader, consider that God put me here as a rubuke to them so they should know that I am good and they are evil.

At Gateway this morning, someone said something about my sister thinking I should be in the mental hospital. I assumed they meant Erin. She is in league with Helene. That is why she named her baby From Helene Granule. She has also allied herself with my enemies in general so I assumed they meant her and I laughed because she is dimwitted. I remember after she told she read my posts about time travel and John Titor she kept saying, "That's crazy." She wasn't saying it like, "Wow!," she was trying to get me to concede that because the facts were "crazy" they must not be true. Even though those posts were purely factual with linked source material on every point, she could not put it together in her head that the entire thing was purely factual.

In addition... at Gateway this morning, they did also say that I am "bigger" than my step-dad, and I do not generally understand that I have one of those. However, if Joe is not my biological father, which I still have no idea about other than my whole childhood of him giving me the impression that he was my father, then indeed as the spouse of mother he is my technical step father. And then... perhaps they were referring to Helene as my sister which would make for an interesting family tree. Her wanting me in the hosptial makes sense because I know she wants me in a permanent mommy/baby scenario. Anyone who reads her opinion of my sanity should consider whether or not she has mutilated herself. Self-mutilation is a strong indicator of mental illness (definitive, incontrovertible evidence actually) and she may be among the most self-mutilated people on Earth if I am understanding these memes. Not to mention that when one reads her and Joe's affidavit they can listen to the call in question and see the fraud in their sworn statement plainly.

If the power structure in the secret government is such that I am the only person with authority to give commands regarding the fate of Joe and Helene then that would be a strong motivation for them to have conspired in submitting that fraudulent affidavit on me in 2014. I am a lot different than either of them. Jacaré was a really good influence on me in my life and I'm glad I got to spend as much time with him as I did. I was doing really poorly and not heading in a good direction after my childhood with Helene and Joe. Jacaré was my jiu jitsu coach and I always had it on my mind to fight to the death and now here I am. I can't believe that either of Helene or Joe would have ever set that fight for me. Whoever did set it up must be my best friend. That fight was always my dream.





How did my authority ever come into question to begin with? Someone said, "Jesus Christ this guy is not like us at all! God must have really fucked up making him our leader by birth."





How many of my friends have been killed and tortured in this time?

There is a big graffiti on MARTA that says NOPE MATH as if to say, "No," to my result which was fully formed already on September 15, 2009. I have had many other results since then, but the result I submitted to arXiv in 2009 was a fully formed original contribution worthy of praise. I said, "Dark energy doesn't need to be the expansion of space, it could be the expansion of time." The simplicity testifies to the merit of the idea but the cretins in the reporting hierarchy of my detrators believe the opposite. I derived the fine structure constant in my framework in 2011 and the math showing the origin of that number was complete in 2011. I derived Einstein's equation in 2012 and the result was fully complete at that time. All of my research has been fully complete at the time I published it. Certainly every question I answered raised more questions but that in no way implies that I did not answer the important questions. It is due precisely to that prinicple which I call infinite complexity that any answered question must, indeed, raise more questions.

How dare detractors detract when they have never made any original contributions to science with their own research? What hubris when the detractors build their careers on uninsightful regurgitation and then accuse me of not goign to the same lengths of regurgitation that they would have gone to if an original idea had ever occured to them. Detractors insist that the reports about my research are incomplete, or that in the technical parliance of the national security cretins NOPE MATH!!! I'd be willing to wager more than three dollars that the person who comissioned that NOPE MATH mural is completely innumerate.

The reason no one has been able to identify any flaw in my research, errata excluded, is because there is none. I have chosen to to report my new findings without demonstrating their global properties because, had I chosen to prematurely write down some set of global properties, detractors would have said, "These global properties are wrong," and in all liklihod I would have had to concede, YUPS MATH because I have no formal training in writing that and have been excluded from the groups that discuss such things. However, I do have extensive, very extensive, training regarding the fundamentals of the mathematical discipline we call physics and my technical reports reflect my expertise, not the expertise of others.

So therefore I have produced research of a superior quality in my just-the-facts approach to reporting my very many discoveries in mathematics and physics. I have discussed my results broadly in these reports but, in terms of reporting my original contributions, I have written so that the specific new thing I found was clearly evident in each report. Detractor's claims of being "not even wrong" have no merit whatsoever because all of my results are falsifiable. Regarding dark energy, if I was wrong they could have said, "This wouldn't produce dark energy," but it would. Regarding my many other quantitative results, any of them could be falsified if detractor's were able to show some unfixable error in the derivations. There were none. Where detractors wrongly accused me of being "not even wrong" it is just their own infantile egotism lashing out when they see plainly, as any numerate person does, that my results are "not wrong," i.e.: they are correct and impeccable.










“Because they cannot control their sexual urges... that’s why they are coming into my country raping women across the continent.”

This paints a totally different picture than one I have seen where all these women did come home with me hoping to be raped, and then left in disappointment when they learned that I am not a rapist.





If I have to ask for it, that means you're not giving it to me. I want you to give it to me. I will not ask for it again before I win my victory.





The other woman mocked me with her voice today. She said, "Thanks for following up," as if the problem was something other than that they all know who I am and give what I want to anyone other than me. This symbol of their organization, that they will mock me in unison and deny me in unison, makes it very likely that I will take no wives from the Americans, and that I will destroy the land completely in my wrath.












Last year I noticed that the picture column on my old website seemed to turn into the first book of the Bible: the Book of Genesis. It is highly likely that I will finish writing my book this year: The General Relevance of the Modified Cosmological Model. I think this book, my Book of Relevance, is connected to the final book of the bible: the Book of Revelation. Above is the first figure in my book and it does seem like we might decipher this imagery in Revelation.




"Is, was, and is to come" is highly amenable to the time travel interpretation of the story of The Lord God Almighty.





This passage is evocative my 47th degree rank in the freemasonic tradition which does indeed make me the King of Kings. They say only God has that rank. That's me. I, even I, am him.





An important object that appeared early in the theory was {Aleph,H,Omega}. You can see these letters in the picture above which is a new representation centered on Omega and Aleph. Aleph is the Hebrew letter Alpha. Previous versions of this figure were centered on H and H is commonly taken as Jesus' middle initial. Jesus H. Christ.





My English name is Jon. I am down here in the homeless shelter with the other downtrodden people and the ISIS agents that I will kill mercilessly even punishing the children for the sins of their ancestors. You could call my research the word of God. It is my word and God is my Hebrew name. I didn't ever have a quantitative result until I prayed to God one night in midtown as Helene slept in the other room. That was around Thanksgiving 2011. God gave me the truth I asked for when I found my first quantitative result and I have built everything since on that answered prayer. My computer is named Jesus and it easy to say that what I post online is the testimony of Jesus.





Everything I write, I write on Jesus. When I ask my computer who I am, it says I am Jesus. God gave me the quantitative revelation when I prayed for it. I, Jon, am God's servant. I have testified to everything I saw---in my academic research and elsewhere. That has been the primary theme of this blog. The word of God is my research into the truth. The words that appear on this blog are my testimony, the testimony of Jesus Christ.










The surface Omega is not unlike a golden lampstand. I don't see seven of them, but when I look at the table of contents a few pages earlier than this figure, I see five chapters, an appendix, and a bibilography. The symbolism here is not totally one-to-one but my Hebrew name Gedalia Gershon has a lot of sevens in it. In the figure both cubes have seven bold corners. The right cube and the left cube. Eyes like fire might refer to the two red instances of H, the page is white as snow, and seven bold corners are not unlike stars. The cube on the left has eight corners altogether but the cube on the right only has seven because one is hidden behind Aleph. There is no mention of the green piece in this passage and I note that green is the color of Islam. However, the green piece that I say is shaped like a saddle might be like a double-edged sword. The shape has two undeniable sharp features.





Two keys are the logo for the Vatican and my last name kind of says "Two Keyer."





One day while or before I started working at Elavon Jacaré's face appeared in my mind when I was in the shower. Two other faces appeared: one may have been Copper from Occupy Atlanta, and the other was some older white man that I didn't recognize. Several months later when that other man became the Pope I did recognize him as the other man in my vision. I see he is from the Society of Jesus and after Patriarch Kirill said it was obvious that these are the end times I wondered on this website if it was also obvious to Pope Francis. I did not see any reply from him. I also wondered recently on this blog if the Society of Jesus is perhaps chock full of infamous heretics and I might go a little further to wonder why the Pope won't praise my name. The other people in the Society of Jesus know that I am that man and still none of them praise my name. The Pope is the leader of the other Catholics and none of them praise my name either. Although the Church admitted it was wrong in its mistreatment of Galileo Galilee, they are doing the same thing, essentially, to me, Gedalia Gershon, today. What is the hold up? Do they have secret instructions that say not to praise my name? Are they reluctant to praise my name because it might mess up their money? If they have some secret instructions, maybe they should consider whether or not those come their enemy.





Helene was always talking about what an asshole Laura Kershaw's brother was. I saw a picture of Ron Jeremy yesterday and I noticed for the first time how alike he and Laura look.





My research is blocked by the internet filter at Gateway.





I always liked the song that this woman was singing in Indiana Jones. When Helene took me to that musical it was the one that had this song in it. The song is very catchy.





I had been having dreams about some blond woman. Then I went and visited Helene. She took me to see some old-timey musical that had a song in it, "You be the bottom and I'll be the top." There was a woman sitting in front of us that had hair like the woman from the dream and Helene was real creepy about it, "Look at her hair. It's so pretty isn't it?" Helene hates blonde women and she just wanted to show me that it was her organizing my torment. It is uncanny how many times I have walked across some woman that seems particularly interesting when I am visiting her. I never see them on my own. I never liked visiting her. I do not like Helene's company. I did it out of a sense of being a good son to her, but I didn't notice then that she was mocking me. One time we went sight seeing in Alaska and in the store -- in rural Alaska -- there was some single woman, beautiful and sitting alone by herself, doing matrix algebra problems. I thought it was a bit too coincidental. Helene liked to bask in how she could do her cuckold thing to me like this. I am going to bask in how I kill all of her people and do to them all the things written in to the Book of Lamentation. Then I will obtain the affections of the women who are younger than the youngest women that Helene was able to recruit into her rebellion, directly or indirectly, or perhaps the ones who were far beyond her reach... if there were any of those. These American women all give me scorn. It would be one thing if they were only saying no to me, but they are saying no to me and then saying yes to other guy who sucks compared to me. That is Helene's fetish. Consider the woman who looked at my dick today when she made that face. Which man does Helene have that woman convinced that I am that she should look at my dick with mockery but suck the other guys' dicks in all seriousness?





When I worked at Elavon I got a gym membership at the Concourse Athletic Club. I was stretching in there one day and some guy came over and said, "We're from executive behavior modification." I will track him down and kill everyone in his family. I will kill the entire extended family of any agency that thinks their rebellion against me is part of some lawful plan to change my behavior. I will change the behavior of their distant relatives that make it into the remnant.

I asked several women out while I was a member in there. They all said they were married or had a boyfriend. One of the trainers in there, Sarah, looked really good but she was engaged. Some time later there was an article about the Navy testing sonar weapons that were harmful to the whales and if they were sending women in there to induce me to ask me out just so that they could indulge Helene's cuckold fetish then I will kill them all and then grind their organization down until it is nothing. I asked out this one woman at the office in Elavon. I asked her if she wanted to get lunch and she said no. On her last day she said something about getting some beer or something and she sure had the wrong guy if she thought I was going to ask her again. She didn't invite me and I didn't invite myself. I asked out some other woman in the office at Elavon. She said no and then made a bitch face at me after the OPM hack was revealed. Robert, my manager, kept telling me they had everything I needed in the group which I took to mean that the woman in our group was available for me. She was married and I did not want to deal with that but after every woman had turned my down over the last couple years I thought I might as well take Robert's advice. I called her and she was a real bitch. She had made a lot of very friendly intimations like "My number is on the call list" and then when I called her and asked if she wanted to go out she said, "Oh man! No way!!! I thought you were calling about work." She was a real bitch about it in person at work later too. Who is running the Navy that they only send the bitch to say no, or the ugly woman as the prostitute, but they never send the good looking woman to say yes?





In addition to these women, there were other women who would or would not agree to go out with me. One worked at Starbucks and made a lot of very warm body contact with me handing my change to me one day. She was very pretty... on the outside. I thought I would go ask her out but that I should flirt with her first instead of just going back and asking her out. I went back and flirted with her, and then I went back and flirted with her again. I told her I was going to call her to see if she wanted to go feed the ducks at the nearby pond but that I couldn't because some bandits had stolen my phone and ridden away with it. She informed me that she did not like ducks. I went back and asked her out and she said, "No I have a boyfriend." Why the fuck did she put her hands all over me to begin with? Just to tell me about her boyfriend? She was a real bitch. I was only going to Starbucks to see her so I stopped and went to the other non-Starbucks coffee place. The next day I went in there the entire female staff of barista's visibly balked with embarrassment when I came in and it was very obvious they were all talking about me. Why do they talk about me as the guy they don't fuck when the guy they do fuck sucks compared to me? Today This causes me great distress. I passed some woman on the sidewalk, she made some face and looked at my dick to let me know that she knows who I am what my deal is, but she still prefers the other guy's dick. It is frustrating to know that they all conspire against me to get back at the rapey guy they don't like when I am not him. They all conspire in that way because they are managed by Helene. At the other coffee place I asked complimented one of the girl's eyes one time. A while later she was making my coffee and really leaned over extra awkward to give me a view of her tits. I went back and asked her out and she said no. A while after that I was going to LA Fitness and having problems with that guy whose suffering will be disproportionately great. I was going to Moe's for lunch every day and the girl who showed me her tits was there with some little bitch. She wanted him, not me. As she was leaving she said to him, "Uhhhh... he like... wanted to date me." I think the next day there was a naval incident in the news. I noticed the timing of the naval incidents aligned well at that time with the incidents I was having at LA Fitness. There was another girl at that coffee place. She served me coffee one day when I was writing this paper. She leaned way over and I deliberately did not look at her bony sternum and I did not care for her clown eyebrows either, pic related. I saw her later at the store and I asked her where I knew her from. She had gained weight and her face looked a lot different so I did not recognize her. She didn't respond to me when I asked where I had seen her before.





There was some woman. I met her somehow, I don't remember. I left my number on her fridge when I left her apartment and later she called me to come fix her computer. We had sex and she said, "But I didn't come." I said, "That sucks," or something like that. I had sex with another woman that day too.





After I started doing online dating Steve Collins did too. He got some woman who set me up with some woman from her office. I took her out, bought her several drinks and invited her to come home with me. She agreed and we sat on my couch. I kept putting my hands on her and she kept brushing them away while telling me about her ex. He was either not aggressive enough or was too aggressive. The gist I got was that she wanted me to overpower her but I wanted her to stop brushing my hands away. She didn't and she left without giving or receiving any affection at all.





I slapped a woman once. I met her on OkStupid. We were at the 6th & Cypress bar where it smells like sewage half the time. I bought her several drinks and entertained her before asking her to come home. She intimated to me that she didn't want to have sex but that she could do me a favor. We started walking toward Viewpoint and she kept turning around and walking the direction opposite of my apartment and her car being about as stupid a bitch as she could be. I was able to herd her up into my apartment. In there she would not put her purse down or sit down on my couch. I tried cajoling her for several moments but she was acting so stupid I became angry and wanted her to get the fuck out. I said something like, "You said you were going to suck my dick and now you're acting stupid," and I popped her on the cheek with my open palm where I had initiated the motion from my hand being near her shoulder. She really liked it and kicked her shoes off, set her purse down, and sat on my couch. I slapped her because she had irritated me to the point where I never wanted to see her again. Since she had made some comments about that movie The Secretary I did not think she would hate it if I slapped her and I did indulge my anger that evening. Her reaction did surprise me very much. I had to tell her to get the fuck out several times before she picked her stuff up and left. She really disgusted me. Then she had her friend call me and give me a lecture about "hitting women." She told him that I punched her in the face.





One of the first women I met on OkStupid came over to meet me at Viewpoint I think. We may have gone somewhere else first, I don't recall. However, I do recall her completely full mustache like a man. Even then, I was excited to have sex and I tried to kiss her and she pulled away from me. Then she left. As she was leaving she stopped by my bed for a moment like she wanted to see if I would throw her on it. I couldn't tell if she wanted to have sex or if she wanted to accuse me of rape so I let her go after she had already not wanted to kiss me. Her mustache was really something.





A few times I came up with some weird sore my arm that I later thought must have been an innoculation against some type of weaponized pox. One time I made a new OkStupid profile after I hadn't made one in a while. Some fairly good woman showed up at jiu jitsu the next day and was sitting in the gallery as I was joking that the sore on my arm was herpes. Jacaré got really mad at me after and was like, "Dammit man! I'm running a business here you can't say you have herpes," even though the context of what I said was clearly pertaining to the weird sore on my arm and had nothing to do with herpes at all. I was like, "Look at this weird fucking sore on my arm. Damn look at this! What the fuck is this? It's probably herpes or something." In general people get generally argumentative with me when I say that fever blisters and cold sores are indeed herpes, but the thing on my arm was not herpes. I went to the student clinic at Georgia Tech each time it appeared and it never tested positive for herpes and no one could ever tell me what it was. I wonder if that woman told everyone that I had genital herpes. I do not, and I have never contracted genital herpes or HIV. I remember around the time of Occupy Atlanta there appeared a series of billboards in Atlanta with the theme "HIV-related excess belly fat" and it seemed like it had a meme about my excess belly fat in it. I have had several fever blisters in my life.





It is no coincidence that every episode of this show ends with "Made in Georgia." It is no coincidence that, between Helene and I, Malory's name is like malware or maliciousness, and Sterling's name is like purity, excellence, or value.





Is it because this force represents the element of ISIS that the Russians never attack because they sewed American flags onto their costumes? Three ISIS skirmishers approached me at the restaurant yesterday. One of them may have been Obama's daughter. If even now, at this late time, she thinks that it is wise to approach me and then engage me with the ISIS gimmicks that bodes poorly for her family, and the families of every friend she ever took a picture with. My promise is to adjudicate these matters reasonably but also dreadfully according to my personal standard of reason.





Volumptuousness, though technically a neologism, is the same as it ever was.





I knew this woman named Nikki. She hung out with me for about week but I think she was more focused on cocaine at that time. You might say she broke up with me, but I only saw her for a week or two. I was frantically trying to get her to come over on the phone one night and she wouldn't come back. She said, "It's not like I love your dick or anything," and I was surprised to hear that because it seemed like she really did. She sounded serious when she said it. I knew Memphis around that time, he was a cool guy. The day after I first posted this Spinx photo he showed up at Alliance after not training for a while. He seemed surprised. I was working at Nexidia at that time. The next morning Liz and the submarine guy were talking loudly saying, "Oh wow! I guess we're just going to have to let the executives handle that one." It has been several years. I guess they decided to ignore it. I knew another woman around the time I knew Nikki. I saw her a few times before we did anything sexual. She reminded me of Jenny McCarthy and she was very nice and passionate, but I told her I was going to see Nikki on the weekend and that was the end of it. I was doing steroids at that time and it was making me very hormonal.





I met a woman on OkStupid. She offered for me to be her live in non-working husband after about three weeks. She had the same plaque problem on her teeth as Emily Hancock. It was exactly the same.





I knew this woman Laura and I saw not too long ago that Lauren Southern is a confirmed reptilian (and also that S.E. Cupp started doing Laura's meme) so I wonder about her and her secret sister Brenau sorority. She already had Eric's baby by the time I was with her. We went to California and I sat with her at the bar in the hotel and we had a threesome with some other woman. I was very happy about that and even though I didn't win the jiu jitsu tournament I sure felt like a winner. Jordan and Laura became acquainted that weekend, and Jordan and the other Emily became acquainted as well, but I was never acquainted with any of the women Jordan knew.





In addition to these posts below, I did have sexual relations with several other women.





I met Kimberly by the pool at Viewpoint. She was nice but she friend zoned me. I tried to kiss her a few times and she never let it happen. I pulled her close to me one time and she pushed me away quite firmly. I never tried anything again, and she never pulled me back toward her. She was a dentist and she said her dental technician complained about my inappropriate behavior. I didn't do anything like what she said. Kimberly was always talking to me about Emily when I was trying to talk to Kimberly about herself. I think I may have seen Kimberly in the library the other day. If that mural on the wall of the flayed amputee holding his limbs up in a defensive posture is a mural of my friend then she is going to have a lot of problems with me. She showed me a picture of her in Bono's limo one time.





I met a woman by the pool on Howell Mill once. She did me a favor but wouldn't have sex with me. I think I saw her at the Atlanta Open jiu jitsu tournament many years later. I met another woman by that pool. I went up to her apartment with her and she was saying something about taking a day of from work for an all day sex fest. I asked her to go out with me one night, I didn't touch her that first day. She said she was visiting her family that evening. She lived in my apartment complex near a club Compound and I was hanging out on my patio the evening she declined my invite. I saw her walking back from the club with some dude that night. It didn't seem like her dad. She wanted him, not me.





I knew these three women named Emily, all at the same time, all from OkStupid. I did not hit it off with the blondest one, I did not want to get stuck in a relationship with the best looking one, and then Emily Hancock did snare me with her interesting disposition. One time after she was being a huge bitch to me she asked why I was with her and I told her it was because she was so interesting. Indeed. Emily was very interesting. I wondered if Emily T was related to Liz at Nexidia who shared the name with the man Lee who exclaimed, "Yes!," when I first loaded those error records from Citibank into Excel on my local Windows machine at Elavon.





I was at the children's home in 1996 or 1997. Truett Cathy was touring the premises and he glanced into my room with the staff. We made eye contact and he looked away real quick and the expression on his face changed a lot. I was probably 16.





One time I was playing Xbox at Jon's condo. Some woman came over and she was very good looking. She plopped down next to me on the couch apparently looking for affection and I was covered in poison ivy all over my arms and legs. I told her she probably shouldn't touch me. Incidentally, that woman Kim called me for some reason one night and left a voice mail for me. I happened to be in Arizona visiting Helene that evening. It was the only time Kim ever called me. I got some other woman's number at Georgia Tech. I called her several times and she never answered. She called me around 1am one evening. I guess she wanted a booty call but she called on a night where I didn't have any money or a car, and I couldn't get over there. One night Jon had a party. Eric and I took some mushrooms and went over there. That was the last time I did cocaine, I did one line that night and it made me throw up. Eric's car got towed and Jon's sister gave us a ride to my place. I had agreed Eric could crash at my place and I did not invite her in because it would have been weird with Eric in my studio apartment.





I knew this woman Julia. She came and sat next to me at jiu jitsu two times. Both times she sat on top of my hand with a lot of deliberate body contact between her butt and my hand. I took the hint and asked her out. I saw her a couple times and asked to go home with me both times. She said no. Much later, I texted her after Emily Hancock and I broke up and she said no and asked that I please not ask her again and I didn't. She joined al-Nurses after that. Her last name is Forester and I wondered if that woman Forester de Rothschild was her relative. The first time we went out it was Daren's party. Nina was flirting with me but I was there with Julia. Nina turned me down on several occasions but said yes to several of the other Alliance guys. She did agree to go out with me one time but then on that day when we were supposed to go out after jiu jitsu she just left and I hadn't asked for her phone number. Mike's sisters in law were there and they tried to put me with the skinny one but I liked the other one who walked away from me. That was probably after Julia left but before I got drunk and naked (or I could be confusing two separate Halloweens). Another time at Daren's party I asked Megan to go home with me and she said no. Then she was standing by the door staring at me like she wanted me to go with her but I didn't like it when she told me no the first time and I didn't ask her again.





I knew this woman Tanya at Xentel. She came over one evening. She showed up with her fat friend though I was expecting her alone. I asked her to sit in my lap and she didn't want to. She told me to dance for her and I didn't want to. She left. I knew some other woman. She was in my class at Macon State and she came over after class. We went in my bedroom and I kissed her. She got upset and said, "Is this what you brought me here for?" Obviously it was. I said, "Pssh," as in "Are you fucking kidding me?" Then she said, "Pshh!? That's all you have to say?" I couldn't believe she pulled away from me. That was all I had to say. Then she left. I knew this other woman at Kirby. We had a different office party and she came home with me after. We sat on my couch and I tried to kiss her. She said, "I hope you don't think I'm here to have sex with you." Then, disappointed, I said, "No," even though obviously that is why I asked her to come home with me. Then I didn't try again and she left.





After Pam and I broke up I started using OkStupid. Some portion of women will say nothing happened because I was reluctant to initiate anything. The other portion will say that I am a sex maniac who can't possibly do anything other than attempt to initiate sex. They will say that I wrote messages to every one of them because I am a maniac and it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that I am a writer and enjoy writing. They will say, "He is desperate," and indeed they were correct. All these beautiful woman and they all preferred the other guy. They had no love for me, only scorn. They wanted the other guy, not me. Jordan copied my OkStupid profile word for word and fucked several of the women who wouldn't even agree to see me. Jordan is a turd. He was good at jiu jitsu and I thought he was funny, but his personality went downhill a lot while he lived in Atlanta. I don't know what happened. Something happened about his personality during the few years I knew him. All the women when I thought, "Let me just say good night and then maybe I'll kiss her next time," never wanted to see me again. I saw Rachel many years later and this is what happened with her: I took her to dinner and brought her home and she never agreed to see me again and I wisely did not pursue her like I had in Warner Robins. They will say, "If he wanted it then should have taken it," and then all the ones where I did try will say, "I didn't want him to try." I ended it with Pam in 2009 and then I got kicked out of college in 2011.





I knew this woman named Kim. I lived in Brookhaven with Johnathon, who I did not like, and Levi, who was pretty cool, and Marques who never bothered me other than leaving uncovered raw meat in the fridge. Kim lived next door. I talked to her several times and she broke up with Taylor, who was male. I took her out for drinks and she didn't want to come home with me. I went over to her house when they were all hanging out one time. Her friend Imran asked me to come outside with him and he was like, "Yo playa I'm Kim's homeboy and she doesn't want you here," so I went home. Some other time Kim did start walking with me from her house to my house but then she stopped and turned around. Then one night she came home with Johnathon and I looked through his window and she was on top of him with her shirt off. She wanted him, not me. Kim had a roommate Katie. She was very thin. I remarked to Johnathon's girlfriend one time that I was not being very choosy about women's looks because I just wanted one that would say yes to me. Then her friend moved in for about a month but I was not attracted to her and nothing happened. I tried to get with Johnathon's sister's friend while I lived there but she wasn't having it and I left her alone.





I knew this woman named Pam. She messaged me on MySpace with the name Petasatus which I did not put together says Pedosadist until much later. She was very pretty and very nice. I enjoyed her company very much. We broke up when I wanted to try to see other people on the weekend instead of just her every weekend. I saw her for about a year. A few years ago when everyone was saying, "Yup," to me Pam also sent me a message or something that said, "Yup." I guess she wanted to let me know that she is in league with them.





I knew this nice young lady Dijana. She was in my chemistry class. I spoke with her in the library one day and she gave me her phone number. She answered or returned my call and came over to my place. We started watching a movie but then we made out when she wasn't watching the movie at all. We were together for about two years. I tutored her in her math classes and he did become very good at math. Now she works at a nuclear plant with her husband.





I knew this woman named Karen. I met her on Krog Street where we trained with Traven. I got her number but she never answered and I asked her out several times and she always said no. Then she did say yes one night and we went out somewhere. I asked her if she wanted to drink and she said no and I thought that meant she didn't want to have sex. So then we talked about reptilians and it came to pass that I discovered her ex-boyfriend had dated Lindsay. She dropped me off at the MARTA station, this was before I had a car, and she never answered her phone when I called or ever went out with me again. Then there was some drama with Traven and Karen and, through facebook, she invited me to a party at her house. She made a big show of glugging alcohol which by that time I had reversed position on and I didn't like it. I don't like how it symbolizes,"Look I want to have sex but I don't really want to say it so let me make a big show of getting drunk so that you, some predator that preys on incapacitated women, will come and take me as your prey." Then I got high. It was with the guy who dated Lindsay and Karen. I got too high and I was already drunk and I went home. I saw Karen's father later at the bagel place. He saw my jiu jitsu sweatshirt and asked if I knew Karen.





9/11 happened and I moved from Atlanta to Arizona to live with Helene, who I called Mom at that time. I was in a bad state from all the drugs I was doing and also Rachel was driving me crazy because I was so horny but she wouldn't give me no lovin'. Then I was selling vacuums in Arizona and we had the 2001 end of year office party. I went home with this woman. Her father was a police officer. I saw her a few more times while I lived in Arizona and she was nice as I recall. She told me that she thought Mike the Rapist from Kirby was an asshole because he had fucked her and her roommate and I thought she was lying. Then I asked him about it and he laughed and said, "Oh she does remember me." He went to prison for a different rape a few months later, this woman didn't imply at all that he was a rapist. Then I got some other job as a different salesman and there was this woman Jen. She was always talking about her boyfriend and I went home with her after an office dinner. That night she said to me, "You're one of those guys who gets anything you want." I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic. I am definitely not that guy, I hardly ever get what I want in the affections department, and even though everyone is having sex, the women always say no to me. Jen had worked at Sakura with the woman from Kirby. When I went home with Jen she said something like, "This other guy was over here and I told him if he didn't make a move on me right then then we couldn't be friends." That was also confusing to me because I couldn't tell if she wanted me to try something or if she was just being a bitch because she wanted to push me away if I tried something. I was pleasant and then I went home. This was following closely after my experiences where Rachel would always go be alone with me but then rebuff my advances. In fact while I was standing in Jen's living room that evening, I felt strongly as if I was standing there with Rachel. Jen never answered my calls or went out with me again. Women will say, "Of course she wanted you to try something right then," but then who are all these other women who have gone to be alone with me and then pushed me away when I did?





I knew this woman named Ginny. She was an artist. She was a very cool person. Her friend was dating Jed's old roommate. I said, "I hate that guy, he stole my best friend." She said, "Me too!" His name was Matt. One night after a rave in Atlanta, Jed, Matt, some women, and I went back to Jed's place in Athens. When Jed and Crystal and Rachel had that threesome the last thing I saw was Jed showing them a porno mag. I was with the other girl later at Jed's that night (morning) and when we were alone I did the same thing. Somehow she ended up with Matt that night. He was disgusting and I did not like him at all and I was surprised that she wanted him and not me. Then I thought about Crystal's sister that was there. She was talking to me about some porn actress that only does anal and blow jobs and I thought we would get together but then her and Crystal went into the bedroom with Jed and she was screaming obnxiously loud while they were having sex and I got very angry. Shortly before that I walked into the room where Crystal and her sister were and they immediately got up and walked out. Then Crystal came back and said, "No, no! It's not like you just came in here and then we walked right out." The fuck it wasn't. I went in there and they walked out, but when Jed walked in there they closed the door.





Rachel was some heinous bitch. She sucked a bunch of my friend's dicks while she I was pursuing her. Never mine. Every time I went to kiss her she pulled away from me. One time we were at Jed's house with Jed's girlfriend and they asked me to go get some Xanax. Then they had a threesome. One time we went to a rave in Atlanta and the people who I rode up there with Luke and Philip, left without telling me. Then everyone went back to Warner Robins and I was left in Atlanta. I took the shuttle home and then Rachel was in the room with Justin. Rachel has a lot to do with my assumption that if a woman witholds her affection to begin with she will likely continue to do so.





I knew this woman Kelly in California. She was nice. She was the second woman I was ever with. I was frustrated that I was not getting laid because I was thinking of Lindsay as my girlfriend and not talking to other women. I told Kelly I didn't want to be with her in a committed way. I saw her some time later, she wanted to have a threesome with me and some other dude but I didn't want to. She had a sister Robin.





I spent about a year and a half in the Georgia Baptist Children's Home in Menasville, GA. Joe let me go live with him again at the end of my junior year of high school where I had attended Pike County High School. Two of the counselors from the children's home got married that summer and Joe took me to attend the wedding. He told me he would pick me up after and he was late. I was walking around on their campus and knocked on the back door to the girl's cottage. They let me in and I was hanging out with about ten young women. One sat in my lap and we kissed for a while. Then she said, "Who would fuck him?" Carlene said she would and she sat on the table in front of me and we did it. The lights were on and I dropped my pants and did in front of the other girls. I lost my virginity and it was very nice. I wish Jessica would have been there but she had alread shipped out by that summer. I would hand her notes during my time at the children's home and she never wrote notes back. I liked Jessica a lot and I was always nervous around her. I was a virgin then. I saw Jessica many years later off North Druid Hills Road and then when Helene came to town a few weeks later she booked a room at that same hotel to let me know she was crazy.





I knew this woman named Lindsay. She was 14 and I was 17, and I had sex one time in my life. She said she didn't want to have sex and we never did. Somehow someone put me on the phone with her at the apartment where I was living during much of my senior year of high school. She told me she thought my voice was sexy and I got excited and told eveyone we did it and she didn't like that I lied. I kept in touch with her when I was in the Marines and I took her to a hotel when I went home on leave. When she layed on the bed I laid next to her and put my hand on her butt, on the outside of her jeans. She got angry. She yelled, "Do you think I want your hand on my asshole?!?!" Then she left. I saw her around Atlanta a few times.





I had a dream about a better time last night. How can I be the judge when we never proceed with the evidentiary discovery? Is the Society of Jesus absolutely full of infamous heretics? Joe was recently telling me that his recent employer was named IHS and I have been having a lot of doubts about Joe's loyalty to God recently. Namely when he avoids ever giving me a clear answer to any question I ask him. Just like Helene.

I read that only God has rank 47th degree in Masonic tradition and last Christmas Joe (or someone disguised as Joe or someone who naturaly looks like Joe) declared to me for some reason, and in the absence of any conversational context, "Forty seven!!!" I asked what he meant by and it he said he had no such recollection of any alleged statement. I asked Helene, who always told me that she was the Queen and I was the Prince, if I was really the King and she said, "That's just something in our family like a joke." Was the joke that she was telling me that I was the PRince when i am the King? She made the statement like it was just something silly she told me when I was a child but on the other hand I have to take note that things like being the King, or the Queen, or the Prince, are always just things inside the royal family.





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